Sunday, March 28, 2010

I Am Heartbroken...

A lot of you might not know, but I have been the 1st counselor in the Primary Presidency pretty much since we moved into our new ward. I was also in the Presidency in our last ward for almost a year, up until we moved. For those of you that know me well, then you know how much I have loved my calling! I look forward to going to Primary each Sunday, teaching my sharing time lessons whenever that might be, and everything about it. I have just loved working with the children and the Presidency. Thursday I had to meet with someone in the bishopric, which I figured was fine. I knew, and was expecting the President to get released, but I figured I was fine b/c I had only served for about 5 months. It was not good news! He told me that I was getting released and paused, I responded w/, "And then call me again right?" I was not trying to be funny, I was totally serious. I had no doubt in my mind I was being kept. He said, "No, sorry. The new president has asked for someone else. But, we will have a new calling for you, we just don't know what that is yet." I was heart broken! I had to keep it together b/c I didn't want to cry in front of him and my Visiting Teaching Companion was coming right after, so I didn't want to be all red eyed. (Sorry, I know this is all church talk for all of you that aren't LDS.) I left to go VT right after, the whole time all I could think about was how sad I was and how I couldn't believe I was already released...and "WHY?" That's my big question, is why she decided not to keep me. But, anyways, as soon as I got home I just let it out. The following day I kept feeling really sad and kept wondering why I felt this way, and then I remembered, I was released! I dreaded all weekend for Sunday to arrive. Today finally arrived and I was officially released in Sacrament meeting. It was so hard. People kept saying, "Oh you must be so happy, you get a break! You get to go back to Relief Society!" "Um, NO, I don't want to, I want to stay!" That's close to what I'd say, I didn't yell it though. I still had to conduct in Primary today and Nikki had to teach, which was really weird because the new presidency was in there the whole time watching us.
Sorry, I know I am rambling now, I just wanted to get this off of my chest. (I hope I don't sound too whiny.) I am just so devastated. Cameron said he doesn't think he has ever had a calling where he cared about being released from...well, I never did before either. I guess this just shows how much I loved my calling, I am sure going to miss it, and I know I'll get over it, I'm just still processing.

8 comments:

Lindsey said...

Sometimes the secretary stays for a couple of weeks... they have all the record keeping. Then they will be released. At least that is how it was with joe's mom when she became the RS president.

DJ Fairhurst said...

I bet you were sooo good in there. And...you can tell that you really actually did your calling:) I've heard a president before say that it just felt right to call new people for one reason, or another. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope it gets better. Kindra

Erika said...

Oh Britt!! I know how much you loved being in the Primary, and how amazing you are with children.
Look on the bright side, now you'll be able to discover other things you didn't know you were good at. :)

Love you!

Dana Scarbrough said...

Britt, I had a VERY similar thing happen in January. First counselor in Primary Presidency, 6 months, Found out 10 minutes before Sacrament meeting. HORRIBLE. The president and I were soo upset, I just couldnt get out of funk for about a week. They told me I would get a new calling, why didn't I then? It took three weeks before they called me to teach RS (which I love) but I still miss primary sooo bad! I didn't need a break from it either! I hope you can find answers and peace as I did. =) HUGS

Dana Scarbrough said...

Also, the secretary isn't part of the presidency officially, so they can stay in with numerous presidencies.

One Happy Family said...

I've definitely had a calling I loved so much that I was shocked when I was released so quickly. I was then put somewhere that really "challenged" me. That's the hard part. You want to grow and progress but the change can be difficult. I like my comfort zone. I'm sure you will learn much in the next calling and surely grow to love it as much even if it is being an even better VT for the next year. Perhaps the new presidency needs to learn the hard way J/K
Sometimes I wish the church did have job postings and interviews to see who was best suited for each position, but I know that wouldn't be the Lord's church- it would be mine.

Carly said...

You are so great Brit to love primary that much (wish I could say the same). All I can say is to not take it personally--you are seriously the cutest, friendliest, most creative and talented person who I am sure the kids absolutely adored. I am sure the new pres just wanted to start from scratch and I am sure (at least I'd hope) she sincerely prayed about the decision. I look forward to hearing what your new calling will be. I bet a year from now, you'll be able to see why this all took place! Love you girl.

Brittany Crane said...

Brit I just got released today from the primary presidency and I thought of you because I too am heartbroken!!! I loved my calling and was only in it for like 9 months. So sad... although I guess we have to trust that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing.